All Aboard the Loony Bus
by TheLilyoftheValley
Summary: The wheels on the bus go round-and-round, and the monsters inside get bored very quickly... (Takes place during the Season 2 Finale) (Pic from Google)


_(Hi again! It's been a while since I posted a Gotham fic, and this has been in my Doc Manager for a while. I'm going to publish while I still feel good about it._

 _In essence, this is supposed to be a comedy fic revolving around their time on the bus. Hopefully I am getting better at writing comedy, if not, practice makes perfect._

 _Some monsters in here are obvious [like Jerome and Doppelganger Bruce Wayne] while I got a few others off a theory video [like Copperhead, Tweedledee, and Tweedledum]. When I wrote this, I didn't know the list of monsters that will be in, so don't flame me if any are wrong. Because I don't know the majority of the monsters' characters, most of them will be made up or substituted from the Arkhamverse. In this fic, Jerome is Joker, as Strange has already given him his identity._

 _I hope you enjoy the fic!)_

 **Disclaimer: I do not own GOTHAM or any of its characters. But Eddie's rights on my Amazon wishlist.**

All Aboard the Loony Bus

Something was happening inside Arkham Asylum. Like a something-so-bad-that-we're-all-going-to-die-if-we-stay-here-a-minute-longer happening. Or at least that was the reasoning that went through Joker's head as the orderlies quickly led him to a -wait for it- _bus_. Not an armored truck, not a disguised vehicle like a trash truck, but a _**bus**_.

"Aw, guys, I can't go on this field trip, I didn't bring my permission slip," Joker joked as he saw a few other orderlies pushing Tweedledee and Tweedledum through the small white hallways.

One of the orderlies holding his shoulders gave him an unnecessary push forward. "Come on freak! We got to get you out of here so we can start our evacuation."

Joker's curiosity peaked. "What are we evacuating for? Because if there's a party here and I miss it, you're going to come to my next party as part of the decorations."

The orderly scoffed as the three of them turned a corner. "There isn't a party, there's a bomb about to go off. We've been ordered to put you all on a bus that will transfer you somewhere upstate. Now stop talking, you've been chattering nonstop for the past four hours."

Joker feigned surprise. "But how am I going to ponder the meaning of life without input from my new _friends_?"

The three of them came to an intersection of hallways, and Joker saw a few orderlies wrestling Copperhead. Joker's face brightened as he saw the poison-fingered woman. "Hey Copper Brain, come join us on the field trip!"

She was pushed up right beside him. "Oh God, we're taking _him_ with us?!"

"Oh come on now, Metalhead, you know they have to take me," Joker said, starting to giggle as they turned right. "I've got the best personality out of all of us." He puffed out his chest and snorted as a laugh tried to escape out his mouth. "Besides," he said, shaking his hips as he walked, "I'm the entertainment during the ride!"

He burst into laughter and the orderlies holding him shuddered at the inhuman cackles. Copperhead rolled her eyes. "Oh goodie," she deadpanned, hoping the universe would give Joker cardiac arrest during the ride.

"I do not understand what is going on."

Joker's eyes lit up. Copperhead could practically see the mischief forming in his eyes and smile. Joker looked over his shoulder and grinned as he saw his favorite person in the Asylum.

Doppelganger Bruce Wayne, desperately in need of a trip to a hair salon, stumbled behind Joker and his orderlies. Unlike Joker and Copperhead, the doppelganger wasn't handcuffed. However, an orderly had a good grip on the doppelganger's upper arm. Joker was sure that would leave a bruise on Brucey 2's arm.

"Good try, Puppet, but you have to look twice as confused and three times stupider to accurately represent Brucey!"

Copperhead watched Joker cackle and thought back to the time Strange introduced Puppet to the Freak Family, as Joker called all of the monsters. Strange had strutted through the halls with a Bruce Wayne look-alike in front of him, acting as if nothing important was going on. Strange had thrown Puppet in one of the cells where they kept all of the resurrected patients after they had been told their identities. When Strange had left, every member of the Freak Family had pressed their faces to the window on their cell in order to catch a glimpse of the Bruce Wayne doppelganger. Joker had the cell right across from Puppet, and Joker had been the main one to catch the doppelganger up on what was going on.

They had all introduced themselves to Puppet, even if some of them had to shout their names out. When Joker had asked Puppet what his name was, Puppet had shrugged and yelled out that he wasn't given a name from Strange. At that moment, Joker had dubbed the doppelganger "Puppet," because "we're all puppets to Strange and whatever he's planning, but all I can see around the look-alike are corded strings."

The name had stuck from then on, and when Strange had taken Puppet aside later that day to give him his identity, Puppet had refused to be called anything else. The Freak Family had no idea how Strange got a Bruce Wayne look-alike (Joker theorized Strange got Bruce's DNA and cloned Puppet from that), but they welcomed the doppelganger with open arms.

Puppet frowned. "Joker, I was not trying to emulate my look-alike. I truly do not understand what is going on."

Joker rolled his eyes. "Well Puppet, from what I've learned, there's a massive bomb about to go off and if we don't high-tail it out of here to a place upstate, we're going to be blown back into a second death."

Puppet's face contorted in fear, and he nearly dragged his orderly across the floor. "Then why are we walking so slowly? We need to exit this facility as fast as we can!"

Copperhead was pushed to her right as Puppet forced himself between the wall of orderlies. Puppet's orderly only had time to shrug his shoulders before Puppet tugged him toward Tweedledee and Tweedledum.

Joker laughed at Puppet's fear. "Come on, Puppet," he said as they exited through two steel doors. The bus was right in front of them, its insides lined with hard benches. "No need to be scared. Strangie wouldn't let anything happen to us. Besides, they need us for Season Three!"

Puppet stopped dead in his tracks and looked back in surprise. His orderly crashed into him. "What do you mean 'they need us for Season Three?'" Puppet's orderly rolled his eyes and lifted the teen into the truck.

Joker and Copperhead were unchained and then pushed into the bus. Joker looked around for a second, then sat between Puppet and the Mad Hatter on a hard bench. Copperhead went towards the front of the bus and sat next to a mutated man called Killer Croc.

Joker nudged Puppet's stomach with his elbow and pushed his grinning face close to Puppet's. "Have I ever told you I suffer from super-sanity?"

Puppet leaned into Tweedledee to avoid the smiling teen face. He cleared his throat and plainly said, "No, you never told me that."

Joker laughed and ended up crowding Mad Hatter, who glared at the teen in annoyance. "Well Puppet, super-sanity is a disease where I know more than I'm supposed to. Like the fact that I knew who you looked like when Strange first threw you in your cell, or that non-monster people are watching us as I speak."

Puppet jumped in his seat. "There are people watching us! Where are they if they aren't inside this bus?!"

Joker put a finger to his chin and stared up at the ceiling thoughtfully. "Well, I guess they're really _reading_ instead of watching…"

Killer Croc grunted in annoyance. "Joker, we don't want to want to hear you talk about some weird disease you have. Shut up!"

Professor Pig, his upper body covered by a blanket, was pushed into the truck and the orderlies outside started arguing. Pig sat down near the doors of the bus, oinking madly.

"You just had to bring the guy to the bus," the supervisor complained as he marked something on his checkboard. "What took you so long and why is there a blanket over his head?"

The orderly glared at his boss as he started to shut the door. "The freak tried to cut me up before I could put his handcuffs on! The only thing I could do to protect myself was to block his sight, so I threw a blanket over his head and tied him up when his back was turned and pushed him to the bus!"

Joker, a wicked grin plastered on his face, kicked Pig in the leg just before the orderly shut the door. Pig squealed loudly, and the orderly jumped back in fear before slamming the door closed.

The dark bus was quiet for about ten minutes before Puppet absentmindedly asked, "When is the bus going to start moving us upstate?"

Mad Hatter lifted his head. "We're going somewhere and we might be late for an important date? Oh no, we can't be late! Alice wouldn't like that," he mumbled, fumbling with the pocket watch he had hidden in his jacket.

Joker waited a minute, before yawning loudly and popped out of his seat. "Alright, it's getting too boring for my taste." He twirled of the tips of his feet and pointed a finger at Puppet in a dramatic fashion. "Play some tunes Puppet! I'm going to dance my boredom away!"

Before Puppet could say anything (like that he didn't know what music was), Joker started to dance to a beat in his own head. He twirled before jumping and moved his arms and body in snake-like movements. He laughed loudly before exclaiming, "Look, I'm a snake dancer!"

"So was your mom!"

Joker's surprised face had every monster wishing they had a camera to record the expression. Joker turned to Puppet, who looked at the stunned teen with confusion.

"Joker, why are you so surprised? You were the one that introduced me to 'Your Mama' jokes, and I thought that it was the perfect moment to try them out," the Bruce Wayne lookalike said, hoping he didn't offend his friend.

Joker's face continued to stay frozen in a stunned expression. "I'd say 'Touché,' but I don't know which part to say it to…"

Copperhead groaned loudly and slouched over in her seat. "When are they going to take us upstate already?!"

Joker held up his pointer finger, but before he could make a remark, the bus shot forward and Joker fell backward onto the floor. Copperhead, Tweedledee, and Tweedledum laughed as the teen rubbed the back of his head, which had painfully slammed onto the metal floor.

"Whoever is driving, I like them already!" Copperhead exclaimed before continuing to laugh. A scowling Joker sat back in his seat. Damn critics. Audiences were so hard to please.

For about thirty minutes, everything went fine. The ride was fast but smooth, and the monsters talked about what they were hoping to see in the upstate facility. Killer Croc wished for a bigger cell, Mad Hatter hoped that Alice would be there, Copperhead hoped that the facility would be easier to break out of than Arkham, and Joker hoped there would be cake. Needless to say, one of the monsters' wishes was not like the others (and a lie…).

After that thirty minutes, things got… rocky.

The monsters found that out when the bus swerved tightly at a corner. The monsters on the right side of the bus were thrown to the left, then every monster was pulled to the back of the bus as the vehicle rapidly sped up.

"I'm going to call it right now. The driver of this bus is most likely a woman!" Joker yelled as Tweedledee struggled to get off the teen.

Copperhead gave Joker a look that could have rivaled the toxicity in her poisonous fingers. "Really, you're going to start being sexist now? There could easily be a male driving this bus!"

The bus swerved so tightly, all the monsters were thrown to the right side. The bus leaned dangerously to the right, and every monster leaned to the left in order to not capsize the vehicle.

Puppet's eyes widened as a thought struck him. He crawled out from beneath Mad Hatter, and tapped Copperhead's arm. The doppelganger had to shout in order to be heard. "I just realized something! I think we're missing a patient! I heard Strange say to Ms. Peabody that he was going to resurrect another patient with her memories, but keep her away from us in order to not allow us to get our memories back! Where do you think she is if she didn't get on the vehicle with us?!"

Joker wrestled his way to Puppet. "Who do you think is driving the bus?!"

There was an enormous crash and the ground suddenly jumped up to meet the sky. Some of the lighter and smaller monsters found themselves airborne for a few seconds.

"I believe I can fly…" Joker sang. Before anyone could say anything else (like "Shut up!") the bus crashed onto the ground and every monster slammed onto the floor of the bus or onto one of the hard benches.

Everyone was still and silent for a few minutes. Joker was the first to speak. He lifted his chest off the floor and struggled to get onto his feet. "Well, I guess we'll need a different bus for this field trip. Anyone got the number for another bus?"

Copperhead, the closest to the door, stood up and groaned in agony. She pushed on the door, hoping that the crash had broken the frame of the door and they could get out. The door was still locked. "Oh no," she said, worry in her voice. "We're locked in here! If someone doesn't come to get us, then we could risk dying of starvation in here!"

Puppet, somehow at the front end of the bus, spoke up softly. "Don't worry Copperhead. Strange will have someone come get us. We are very important to him after all."

Joker laughed loudly. "Puppet's right! Strangie will send someone to let us out! And if anyone else comes, we can kill them after they let us out!"

Puppet tapped Joker's shoulder. "Joker, killing someone after they set us free isn't the best way to thank them, and we don't have any weapons on us. Maybe we should just leave them alone."

Joker huffed in annoyance. "The things I do for my friends."

Mad Hatter wriggled out from under Killer Croc's arm. "We must be let out immediately! I need to get to Alice! I can't be late! The Red Queen could-"

The crocodile man sat Hatter down next to him. "Hatter," the crocodile grunted, "it's going to be a while before we even get out of the bus, much less find your fantasy girlfriend."

Joker sighed, then grinned. "While we're waiting, I can tell you my life story and the struggles I had to overcome in order to make it to this point."

Puppet tried to speak up, ready to ask how a teen without the majority of his memories could tell a life story, but Joker already started, not caring if anybody didn't want to listen. "I was born on a Wednesday…" the teen began.

There was a collective groan in the bus as Joker made up the cheesiest and most disgusting life story he could think of.

* * *

"Help us…" Copperhead said as she continued to pound on the door, her hands tired from banging against the metal door for the last hour. By her guess, they had been in the bus for four hours, with no cool air and a teen that wouldn't stop chattering. Even Pig was ready to pass out.

"…And that was when I finally won my first trophy in my elementary school talent show by demonstrating the art of knife throwing." Joker sucked in another breath to start another chapter of his 'life story,' this time reciting a disgusting story about an incident he had with a burrito. Killer Croc looked out one of the windows, knowing that the teen would just laugh off one of his death threats. The space was too small for him to attack the teen so he was forced to sit there and listen. "Please help us," he growled, wishing he didn't have to listen to Joker anymore.

Copperhead rested her head against the door, all hope of escaping leaving her body.

The door creaked open. Copperhead slipped her hand out and pushed open the door. She took a breath of fresh air and let out a sigh of relief as she stepped out onto the street. Killer Croc wrestled his way to the back of the bus and nearly dove out of the vehicle. He growled as the cool night air hit his scales. He knew he needed to get to a pool of water; sewer, pool or bay, it didn't matter.

Mad Hatter, Tweedledee, and Tweedledum all came out next, the three of them jumping onto the ground. "Come on boys," Mad Hatter exclaimed, "we must find Alice before the Red Queen kills her!"

Joker and Pig both pushed their way out the door. "Aww, come on guys," Joker said, a grin on his face, "Don't you want to hear the rest of my life story?" He cackled as Pig began oinking madly in anger.

Puppet slid out of the bus and onto the street. He looked to his right and found a woman sitting there. He figured he might as well thank her for her help. He walked over to her and studied her face for a moment. It was his first time seeing a face outside the Asylum.

"Thank you," he said, keeping his face expressionless.

Joker called over to Puppet, "Come on Puppet, you're rooming with me!"

Puppet jogged over to Joker and looked over at the other retreating monsters. "Aren't they coming with us?"

Joker nudged Puppet's stomach. "They want to go their own separate way, but we'll probably see them again. And besides, you're the only one that can stand me." He grabbed Puppet's wrist and dragged him off into a different direction than the other monsters. "Puppet, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship."

His laughter echoed through the night as the monsters descended onto the city.

* * *

 _Fun fact that I learned: the Joker suffers from super-sanity, for those that don't know._

 _Hope I did alright! It seemed alright when I finished it, but I've read it over a dozen times and it still feels weird. Oh well, hope you enjoyed it!_

 _Check out my bio for the list of stories I'm writing and make sure to check out my four other Gotham stories: A Question Yet To Be Asked , A Joke the World Will Know , Soothing an Angry Enigma , and Bats, Cats and Street Rats._

 _XD_


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